Traveling Europe: Clothing Observations in France, Italy & Spain

Closet Content Analysis: Comfortable in your own Clothes

Choices: What do you usually wear? 

NICE     NO THANKS     NECESSARY

Keeping in mind your own comfort level should be the foundation for packing your suitcase for trips anywhere any time. It is, of course, good to know certain tendencies - such as, cities require more stylish apparel than the countryside, and that is a general rule, no matter where in the world you are. Determine how much time you will be spending in cities, at resorts, or beaches and in the countryside and pack accordingly.

Canadian lawyer S.K. lived in the south of France, while her husband attended to techno-medical research. During her stay, she noted and concluded that generally, "The women dress a lot better than we do in North America!" That is a refrain that many of us have heard as we travel through Europe. Here are some general guidelines that may help you get through France, Spain and Italy this summer.

Spain: In the spring, when North Americans are in shorts and flip flops in their cities, the Spanish are dressed in layers and remain covered up. It is not summer after all. The Spanish are extremely stylish so if you are visiting the cities, do it up. On hot Spanish summer days, choose dresses over shorts. Skirts and tops will give you a range of flexibility as you dress the skirts up or down. Short shorts and skimpy tops will bring unwanted stares and comments. Reserve shorts and such to the beaches and resorts. City tours may take you to cathedrals and the Spanish are conservative so keep modesty in mind while dressing for cathedral and museum sight-seeing. Take a peak at this pinterest site for helpful hints of what to wear in Spain.

NO THANKS Tops: Canadian food writer, Amy was in Italy last summer and her advice for the steamy summer heat, is silk tank tops; however do keep in mind her experience. Amy packed several solid colour silk tank tops. She wrote, "I thought they were perfect because: a) they wash and dry quickly; b) they would mix and match with all my bottoms; c) they can be dressy or not; d) they take up very little room. Bad move. The solid colour turns dark when damp, er, sweaty. Dark patches under arms and down my back. Now, I still pack silk tank tops, but in patterned fabric, which doesn't show the perspiration."

Italy: Basically, follow the same advice for Italy as Spain. France, Spain and Italy are all stylish but there are differences. In my observation, Italians appear to wear brighter colours and higher heels than even the Spanish. I don't seem to remember many "blue" jeans generally but certainly skinny jeans in all colours and stilettos to match. 

In Italy you will see older women wearing black from head to toe since much of this traditional style is based on mourning family members. When you reach a certain status/older age, there are more deaths in the family, hence more obligation to wear black. I am not aware of the same observance in France; but perhaps this is the same in Spain. 

The LBD in Paris at lunch in September, 2012.
Photo by the waiter serving JoyD.

France: The French are stylish in a more reserved way. Remember I am making generalizations - mais oui, but of course, there are exceptions and style factions. For an understanding of the French sense of style peruse the blog, A Woman's Paris. Again, think city vrs. country. Jeans are fine everywhere except if you are doing it up; then a little black dress will fill any of those requirements. Black and white, so popular in 2013, is also a style staple colour for summer. Careful when colour blocking bright colours; in France, you could end up feeling "clownish".

Then there are shoes, but I'll save that for the next post.

Nice for France: A black blazer can be a better alternative than a cardigan when traveling France in the summer. You can wear it to a  market on a cool day and put it over the little black dress in the evening. If you dare to take a pair of white jeans (usually a NO THANKS travel item) then it would look terrific with a colourful silk tank top.

Amy has created a new category for this blog, NECESSARY!

NECESSARY: Amy added that, "A MUST for me, and this is not really a garment, but I do wear it: my money belt. I don't leave home without it. Little silk tank tops come in handy as a layer between my skin and the money belt (with another loose top overtop)."

That loose top could be a "button-down" shirt that can be  taken off in the summer sun or slipped on when visiting a cathedral.

JoyD Travel Reminder: Keep the most important documents closest to you and with you at all times. Even though my husband and I live in France for 6 months, we are in the habit of taking our passports with us even when we go to the market. We are foreigners after all, and this is the document NECESSARY to have with you at all times.

One more NECESSARY . . .

Burberry vintage all weather coat on a cool spring day in Turkey.
Photo by JoyD's husband

Spring NECESSARY: Gortex or water-resistant three-quarter length jacket/coat. Last year and 2013 have been particularly rainy springs in France.

Other posts on this blog regarding traveling:
What to Wear When Flying for 2 Days
Packing for a Two Week Visit in Europe
Business & Tourist Travel Wardrobes

Next blog post: Shoes for Travel to Europe

For the Love of Reva & Eddie

Closet Content Analysis: "Brand" Flats 

Choices: Tory Burch Ballet Flats

Photo Source: Tory Burch website

It was in 2005 that Tory Burch launched Toryburch.com and then in 2006 that she added shoes for the first time as part of her fall collection. (Retrieved on April 23, 2013 from http://www.vogue.com/voguepedia/Tory_Burch) It was in that year that the Reva flat was born. It has become one of her best-sellers. (Retrieved April 23, 2013 from http://www.businessinsider.com/tory-burch-success-story-2012-9?op=1) But there are more Tory Burch ballet flats than just the Revas. Interestingly enough, the other preferred Tory Burch flat are called, Eddies - a male name, no less.

Since I only have one pair of ballet flats, brand name Espace, I am certainly not "qualified" to write this post. In keeping with the Reva/Eddie (female/male), I have asked Brian Davis and Joelle Aidan to help by offering their NICE, NOTE-WORTHY, NO THANKS, NEED and NEW for this post. And so I am pleased to introduce a Calgarian woman and her TB flats to a Calgarian man and his TB flats. 

Photo Source: Brian Davis

Brian Davis Nice: Ask any women what they think of when they hear "Tory Burch flats"? Undoubtedly they will say the Tory Burch Reva.  The ones with the big gold or silver medallion on the toe.  These classic black leather Reva flats with the shiny medallion were "must have" flats for me.  I have two pairs of them, one with the gold medallion and one with the silver. I don't think I could pick a favourite between the two pairs. The gold ones were bought in person at the Tory Burch boutique and the silver one were bought at Holt Renfrew.  Even with some discomfort and foot pain breaking them in they are my NICE flats.

Joelle Aidan Nice: I own 2 pairs of Revas – the classic black leather with a gold “T” emblem and a pair of light purple suede, again with a gold “T” emblem. I first saw the purple suede when on vacation in San Francisco and failed to follow “the rule” of "see it, like it, buy it" because I thought we would be returning to that part of downtown and never did on that trip. As luck would have it, about a month later my husband and I were on a 4 day weekend getaway with another couple in Portland, Oregon and I saw the suede pair at the Nordstrom’s store. I took that as a sign of fate (or shoe gods) intervening and thought it completely prudent to purchase not only the purple suede pair but the black pair as well.  My rationale was that the suede pair could be “indoor” shoes (living in western Canada the weather it not always conducive to wearing suede shoes outdoors) and the black pair would be the practical, everyday running around shoes.

Photo Source: Brian Davis

BD No Thanks: It's hard to believe that the very first of Tory Burch flats are my NO THANKS flats. They are black patent and although I love the look of the black patent, they have never moulded to my foot like my other Reva flats; therefore they are not very comfortable. I do still love them since they bring back great memories. This was the first time I ever entered a high end boutique to buy flats for myself and it was a great experience.

JA No Thanks: I can't say that I have a NO THANKS. However, as much as I love my Revas, I have to say that they were not the most comfortable the first time I wore them. The “shoe test drive” was when we were hosting a dinner party and I had the ability to change them as the night wore on. The Revas became definitely more comfortable at about the third wearing.  

Photo Source: Brian Davis

BD Note-Worthy: All of my 14 pairs of Tory Burch flats have  some NOTE-WORTHY component to them. I was having a hard time deciding, then I had an idea. I let the public pick - the pair that received the most positive attention and comments on my Flicker account would be my most NOTE-WORTHY pair. I'm pleased to present my violet/purple Tory Burch Eddies. These look like black patent until the right light hits the. Then the deep rich purple patent leather reveals it's magical colour. They were bought at Toryburch.com at half price during the "friends and family" sale.

Photo Source: JoyD.

JA Note-Worthy: In terms of the whole ballet flat shoe category, I have to say that I prefer the Tory Burch Eddie ballet flat to the Reva. As well, the absence of a decal does make it somewhat more discreet.










BD Need: After buying five pairs of Tory Burch Reva flats I started to branch out and try other Tory Burch styles.  The Eddie flats took over as my favourites but my next "must have" pair of Tory flats are the Tory Burch Revas in the colour blue Nile.  I've seen these in person and the blue leather is so rich and soft.  And of course the gold medallion adds the "pop" look to them.

Photo Source: Tory Burch website

JA Need: Tory Burch does have a couple of styles that are embellished and I think these would be more than appropriate over the holiday season to wear either as the host or the guest – when it is winter outside you can be assured that the shoes have not been worn outdoors. My shoe edit is that you can never have too many shoes, so if I were to expand my collection, it would include a pewter/silver pair of Reva’s, the classic Reva with a silver decal,







BD New: This is always an exciting category. For me NEW is the result of NEED or impulse buying. Most people will agree that sometimes when you aren't looking for anything in particular you find the best things. You may not NEED it but have to have it - impulse buying. My latest NEW pair of flats came from my NEED list.  Last Spring Tory Burch introduced the Water Snakeskin Eddies in a colour called ultramarine blue. A dark navy blue with the water snakeskin pattern. I wanted them but never got them. When I finally decided to get a pair they were sold out. They became my NEED pair of flats. They were so high on my NEED list I even asked my contact sales girl at the Tory Burch boutique in Arizona to watch for a pair for me. I still remember getting her email telling me they had them but in a slightly lighter colour blue called ocean breeze and what size should she put on hold till I could come to Arizona to try them on. Just recently they went from NEED to NEW.  These are my new ocean breeze Tory Burch Eddie flats. It doesn't matter how the NEW ones get to you it's just great when they get there.

JA New: Unfortunately my newest are not TB flats. I have recently broken the bank and purchased a pair of Lanvin ballet flats and the comfort level has set a new standard. Further, the Lanvin shoes (as simple as they are) are just beautiful to look at. They are the most beautiful shade of pale green - if you can imagine, muted Kelly green. 

JoyD's "shoe sales" summary: Even though we live in an electronic purchasing world where we can buy anything we want whenever we want and often at discounted prices, we still crave service. Although Brian obviously loves the product, he adores the friendly service from the "amazing" sales associates at the Tory Burch boutiques. As one of the best male Tory Burch customers, Brian concludes that although he really loves the product,  it is the sales person who finalizes the sale in the customer's decision-making process. "I love friendly service and I'm sure this is why most guys are afraid to buy flats for themselves.  If they received the service I do they wouldn't think twice about buying trying them and buy them in a store."

What to Wear to the Saturday Morning Market

Closet Content Analysis: Casual Yet Stylish

Choices: layered cool weather options 

What to wear to the market on a cool, about to be rainy and probably windy Saturday morning?

It was cool, but not windy and not yet raining, when we left the house in Port Ste. Foy and headed across the bridge to the market at Ste. Foy La Grande in Gironde. I was told it is one of the top 100 markets in France. I imagine one of the factors that makes it so is the large number of British tourists and retirees. There are still several empty vendor spaces,  but those are probably the seasonal vendors who have bric-a-brac for the tourist season or they are the ones who have taken advantage of the "bridge" days for the French civic holiday that fell on May 8th.

The weather was such that people did not know what to wear. There were those in shorts and flip flops and others in down-filled jackets and boots. I chose skinny jeans, my black Anne Fontaine shirt, a black blazer and black patent "oxford-style" tie-ups. My "everyday" small silver hoops and a silver and black bangle were my jewellery choices but I lamented that I didn't have a scarf. I took a black all-weather NorthFace jacket and umbrella, just in case it rained.

As we meandered through the streets and picked up our favourites - six grain bread from the man across from the vendor selling ladies underwear, cornue des andes tomatoes from the woman near the "bar du sport" and white asparagus from the vendor next to the fish monger - the clouds were rolling in. We made it to the bar du sport, for a coffee, just before it began raining and it continued so that I needed my jacket and the umbrella to walk back across the bridge and home.

NEED: Scarves. Women of all ages wear scarves and they wear them with panache. I need to buy some scarves.

Working Uniformly

Closet Content Analysis: Uniforms for Work

Choices: Not much choice but the fit is important

Uniformed employees can either look polished or like they're wearing someone else's clothes, which I suppose they are. The idea of wearing a "monkey suit", a derogatory name my generation used for the uniform, was not in keeping with the notion of individuality. However, whether a work situation or a sport event, uniforms identify the wearer to the world and so the world knows what one is representing or for what one is responsible.

Flight attendants have the look of "business smart", which is necessary for their position. With the exception of police officers and other "power" uniforms, not all uniformed employees look polished and smart. Short of "scrubs" in a hospital or "overalls", uniforms need to fit. And the reason uniformed employees may not look so put together is more often because of the fit of the uniform than the uniform itself. 

On my recent trip to Europe, an Air Canada employee at Pierre Elliot Trudeau airport in Montreal looked as if her pants were three sizes too big for her. They were cinched at the waist and her vest covered the bulging excess fabric. It appeared as if she had lost a lot of weight but hadn't had time to get a new uniform; although the vest did fit her well. Obviously there were no trousers in the cache that fit her.

Servers in restaurants will often wear black and white which should look good on everyone. Here we go again - it is the fit that counts and not necessarily the "uniform" itself. If you are wearing your own clothes, of course, they should fit properly. Restaurants will often allow "individuality" in jewellery; however even that may be mandated. Some chain restaurants will tell servers and hosts/hostesses how they must accessorize - some say they may wear silver jewellery but not gold, or gold jewellery but not silver. It is to be uniform after all.

There was a time when health care professionals had to wear a specific uniform. Now, particularly in places such as personal care homes and "old age" homes, employees are encouraged to wear "regular" clothing to make the residents feel "at home". It is true, I suppose, but visitors and residents themselves may become confused. When visiting my mother one time, a resident asked me to do something. I responded by telling her that I was not an employee, that I was visiting my mother. Well . . . the commotion that set about at that time was embarrassing for all concerned. In the big picture though, I am sure it is a better idea than having starched whites. 

I have never had to wear a uniform; although one might argue that the "business suit" is a uniform of sorts. All I can conclude is: make sure the "monkey suit" fits!

What to Wear When Flying for 2 Days

Closet Content Analysis: Casual Airborne Clothing

Choices: Comfortable Casual or Business Casual

NICE     NO THANKS     NOTE-WORTHY 

The choice for lengthy flights or in transit periods over 24 hours, needs to be somewhere between comfortable casual and business casual.

NICE for Flying Functionality: My clothing choices for air travel on May 2nd and 3rd, 2013 was a white v-neck t-shirt, black linen drawstring pants, boots (just because they were easier to wear than pack), a black cardigan and two jackets, a leather jacket under a 3/4 length trench (again, easier to pile on top of each other, wear and carry rather than pack).

Photo taken by JoyD of her carry-on - a purple Lug bag

NO THANKS for FLYING FORBEARANCE: My carry-ons are two Lug bags, a smaller black one that is carrying my medication and diabetic supplies for 6 months and a larger purple one, with shoes, a handbag, a journal and Paris restaurant guide, and a change of clothing and underwear, along with basics in skincare and make-up. I always leave room at the top so that it is "squishable" in order to fit in the size frames for carry-ons in the airports. It is always a good idea to err on the side of smaller; although I did not do that at all this time. I usually don't have a problem but I always worry about it when I am traveling overseas. There are differences between airlines and even regional differences within the same airline. I may have to check in the purple Lug when we leave Air Canada and take the Air France connector.

NOTE-WORTHY: I have only one relatively small check-in piece (in a trio of medium, large and extra large, it would be a medium to large size). In it are my must have skinny pants and complimentary tops, with which I will probably return to Canada. Six of the eight pairs of shoes will be left in France. I'll return to Canada in my boots and bring back two pairs of my favourite heels. I will leave enough in France so that I can accommodate a few items after shopping in Paris.

NO THANKS for FOREVER FLYING: While in the Montreal Pierre Elliot Trudeau airport, I told a woman that she looked fabulous but I can't imagine wearing what she was wearing for long flights. This would be a definite NICE for short business jaunts but a NO THANKS for trips that require up to 48 hours in transit. She was wearing a waist-length pale green leather jacket with a pencil skirt that had mottled-not-quite-tweed horizontal variegated stripes in navy, beige and the same green as her jacket, and the look was completed with navy pumps. She was pulling a red patent "boxy" bag. She was of a particular age and she looked streamlined and gorgeous. She said that I had made her day because she had just looked in the mirror and was annoyed with her wrinkles, further exasperated by airplane dryness. I told her that dressing well distracted from the wrinkles; we laughed.

When I see people who obviously made an effort to look good, I can't help but tell them. Usually they are taken aback but most often they go on to tell me that I made his or her day. 

I may have to re-think what I am wearing for these long hauls.

One and one-half hours until boarding for the overnight trip to Paris, I probably have time to write another post.

What Jewellery to Wear with Formal Attire

Closet Content Analysis: Complementing the Formal Gown with Jewellery

For the most part, it's all about the dress and its details. The more embellishments the dress or gown has, the simpler the jewellery should be or possibly no jewellery at all. The simpler the style of the dress or gown, the more liberty can be taken with the jewellery. 

Jennifer Lopez in hoop earrings and multiple bracelets
Photo Source: http://www.barkevs.com/blog
December 12, 2012

Nice: A winning combination is a gold/silver bangle or cuff and hoop earrings. The wrist and the ears can always be adorned with any gown - with gowns strapless or one-shoulder, with or without sleeves, with metallic or glitzy bling, with one solid colour, with billowy chiffon, even with floral.

However, if you'd like to glam it up a bit more, here are some dress  categories and jewellery suggestions:

Michelle Obama in blue. Photo Source: Sylelist 

The Simple Long Black/Single-Solid-Colour Dress:
Nice: Because the dress is simple and of one solid colour, a statement piece of fashion jewellery can make the difference. Try on a variety of crystals and whites, black, metallic or colour and you will see the varying degrees of formality you can achieve just by changing your jewellery. Of course, real diamonds, real pearls are classic but not many of us have significant pieces that incorporate precious gems.

Halle Berry in Versace accessorized with gold hoops and bangles at the
Golden Globe Awards, 2013
Photo Source: Anything Hollywood

The One Shoulder Dress: 
Nice: Concentrate on the wrists and the ears with a one shoulder dress.
No Thanks: to any necklace. Because of the assymetry of the one shoulder dress, necklaces don't work. Depending upon the amount of bling or decoration on the shoulder, significant drop or chandelier earrings might create too much "happening" from the shoulders up. As with all clothing coordination, it'a a matter of proportion. Bracelets, cuffs, or bangles create balance when worn on the opposite wrist of the shoulder strap.

Doutzen Kroes in Elie Saab
Photo Source: Evi Karatza Adores

The Sequined-Embellished or Full-Sequined Top or Full Metallic Gown:
Nice: For the most part nothing at the neck unless the top is strapless or a deep V. For balance, drop or chandelier earrings and something at the wrist makes perfect sense. The greater the coverage with sequins on the gown the more delicate the bracelet/s and earrings. With just a smattering of sequined coverage, you can add more significant bracelet/s/cuff/s and earrings.
No Thanks: big oversize jewellery pieces that are competing with the dress bling.

Filmy Billowy Chiffon
In the same way when there are many sequins, when there are billowing mounds of material, the jewellery should be understated.




When the dress is the focal point, you can hold back on the jewellery. That is of course unless the jewellery is the focus and that only happens when the diamonds are worth their weight in diamonds.

There are those who proclaim that one should always wear "real" jewellery to formal events. That rule is becoming as archaic as not wearing white after the fall equinox. Clothing rules are becoming more democratic and although you may not want to wear a really trendy piece, it's heartbreaking to think that someone would sneer because someone was not wearing "real" jewellery.

Of course, there are many opinions on this very topic. For your information, here is what was written in WikiHow about wearing jewellery to a gala:

It's not a good idea to wear faux-jewelry or bijoux to a gala. It's best to wear real jewelry if you can. Rather than emphasizing current fad fashions with loud fake pieces, aim for a subtle, simple and elegant approach. (retrieved April 17, 2013 from WikiHow)

What jewellery to wear with formal attire is very much a matter of opinion.

Defining Casual Clothing

Closet Content Analysis: Casual Categories

Choices: Male or Female

NICE     NO THANKS     NOTE-WORTHY 

In a previous post, I wrote that there were no formalized definitions or categories of casual dress. This post is my first attempt at categorizing casual clothing. 

The following are several categories of "casual" wear placed on a continuum from least casual to most formal of the casual. On the continuum, jeans and t-shirts to business casual is the range of my closet preferences when I go out. I would not leave the house in comfortable casual, which, by my definition, includes sweat pants and oversized t-shirts. When it comes to going out for a coffee, shopping, going to the bar, or doing errands many do settle in at the middle range of casual which is essentially jeans and t-shirts.

Least Formal Most Casual		Most Formal of the Casual
Comfortable Casual   Recreation Casual	SportsBar Casual           Jeans & T-Shirt	Business Casual

Shopping in Business Casual.
Photo by JoyD

Comfortable Casual at home. Photo by JoyD

Comfortable Casual is what we wear at home on the weekend when we don't expect to see anyone except our very nearest and dearest. As stated, sweats, baggy shorts, oversized t-shirts or tops, and flip flops dominate this category.

Austrailian author, Sarah Turnbull, writes about wearing "comfortable casual" in her book Almost French. Her husband, Frederic asks her, "Are you going out like that, wearing your gymnastic pantaloons?" When she tells him that she is simply going to the bakery, he responds by saying, "But that is not nice for the baker man . . . " No matter the reason, comfortable casual should not be an option when we go out.

Recreation Casual is one step up from comfortable casual since it includes wearing sports gear but not in a sport situation as in, yoga pants when shopping.

SportsBar Casual includes that printed t-shirt (most often advertising a barley malt product, concert or event) and blue jeans look, which is likely of North American origin. One person's "sports bar casual" is another person's "cleaning the house" clothes. Categorize it as you will but don't wear it if you want to make a style statement, unless you are an adolescent male. To call it a "style" is to give it more credit than it deserves.

Jeans & T-Shirt is a step-up from SportsBar Casual and if you put on a blazer it is the least casual in the Business Casual look. The features that differentiates it are the fit and "artsy" t-shirts as opposed to "advertising" t-shirts. 

Business Casual is well-fitting clothing that is acceptable in a work environment that serves clients. I say "serves clients" to differentiate between those who do not have to meet the public. Therefore business casual may differ in definition from workplace to workplace so that in one business only a certain formality, albeit casual, may be required while in another business situation there is no need to wear a formalized version of "casual". Take a look at what I wrote about appropriate work choices.

NO THANKS: The "beer" t-shirt. Unless you are working for the brewing company or being paid by them to wear their t-shirts, reserve them for house-cleaning. If you have actually spent your own money to advertise their product, consider that there are better clothing items on which to spend your hard-earned cash. If you received it for free, you won't need to buy dusting cloths. Not all, but certainly some are ready for the rag bin after only one wash. 

NOTE-WORTHY: Sports bar casual can be upgraded by simply wearing a solid dark colour t-shirt. Dark colours are mandatory because sports bar outings go with drinking beer, eating salsa and nachos and having something spilled. A white or light colour t-shirt won't survive the night.

NICE: When out, perfectly fitting jeans and a t-shirt and derivations up to and including business casual.

T-Shirt NICE & NO THANKS considerations when shopping:

NO THANKS: boxy oversize printed t-shirts advertising anything

NICE: the perfect fit: not too tight across the bust/chest, long enough for your torso, sits well on the shoulders and is loose enough through the body to feel comfortable, and close enough to look like it belongs on your body and not someone twice your size.

The Joe Fresh solid colour t-shirts are one of the best and since you can buy them at the same time you are picking up your groceries at SuperStore in Canada, availability is easy and inexpensive. Ranging in price from $8.00 to $12.00, they are a good quality cotton, are available in the trendiest colours and best of all, are fitted and come a little longer than usual. See Update at end of the post.

NOTE-WORTHY: the v-neck appears to be the most flattering of all necklines for every body type

Of course, there are many favourites. So if Joe Fresh isn't your favourite, let the rest of know which t-shirts you like better for your "sports bar casual" look. See Update at end of the post.

Don't make fashion own you, but you decide what you are, what you want to express by the way you dress and the way to live.

- Gianni Versace

Joe Fresh No Longer a Favourite - Update: Several hours after posting, I heard the news about the factory disaster in Bangladesh - the factory that produces Joe Fresh products. The very least those employees should have had was a safe working environment and they did not have that. I also heard a spokesperson from Loblaws sending condolences to the families of the more than 100 workers who died. My proposal is that we return any Joe Fresh clothing we own to Superstore and ask for a refund. Of course we won't get a refund without a receipt so I further propose that we simply leave the Joe Fresh clothing on their counters and tell them we no longer want to support an irresponsible company owing to the factory building disaster that could have been prevented. Enough of us can make a difference.

In a Man's Closet: Ballet Flats

Closet Content Analysis: Ballet Flats

Choices: Male or Female - some things are universal when it comes to passion and philosophy

Photo Source: Brian Davis TB Eddie ocean breeze water snakeskin flats

When I review my blog stats, "ballet flats for men" is a key phrase that has instigated a great number of hits. You can tell by, "Posts Others have Liked" where my first interview with Brian Davis is often within the top three. This post further explores Brian's passion and life philosophy.

A Second Conversation with Brian Davis about Wearing Ballet Flats

JoyD: Since the interview in September, 2012, this blog has had a significant number of hits searching for “men wearing ballet flats”. Did you have any idea how popular the topic was . . . and is? I’m curious about your reaction to this.

Brian: Today I'm not surprised at all. In 1998 I bought my first computer and the Internet was my first real exposure to other guys around the world with the same feelings about women's shoes. After seeing I wasn't the only person who had these thoughts my desires grew even stronger. As time progressed I realized that my love of women's shoes centered around ultra feminine ballet flats. In our previous post I mentioned that most shoes whether marketed as men's or women's can be made to look like the opposite gender's quite easily. That can NOT be said about ballet flats (or high heels). I think they will always be perceived as feminine footwear.

JoyD: What do you believe is the motivation behind these searches - is it just curiousity or is it a search for support and validation?

Brian: Just guessing, I would think only a few of the hits are from men or women who are curious about this topic. I honestly believe most who visit here are looking for support or validation. I included women in this answer because I think there are women who are dealing with the fact their boyfriends or husbands have these desires.

Those who are curious are most likely young males who are trying to find out who they really are, much like I was many (many) years ago. Or possibly men or women who have seen a male wearing ballet flats and want to know more.

Support and validation is likely more common and is most likely from guys who are VERY happy to find that they are not alone. I re-read our first interview (September, 2012) for both support and validation. I'm sure anyone else who has these "shoe" desires feels the same way when they read that interview. Wearing feminine flats is not something most guys would feel comfortable asking a friend about. Most guys keep these desires behind closed doors in the privacy of their homes. Your previous post is most likely about support and validation. I hope this one becomes just as popular whether it be curiosity, support or validation.

Regardless of what brought them to read that original post I hope it will have fulfilled their expectations and raised their comfort level for either wearing them or accepting other guys/spouses that wear them.

JoyD: When and how did your interest in wearing ballet flats begin?

Brian: My interest in women's shoes started when I was very young. I didn't really understand it; all I knew was I liked the look of women's shoes better than men's. After I got my first job, my desire for women's shoes grew stronger since I was now able to buy my own women's shoes which I did. That led to wanting to wear them in public which I sheepishly started doing . . . I would go about my regular day in a public place while wearing women's shoes but not during busy times of the day and I always had a "back up pair" of men's shoes, just in case I saw someone I knew.

Brian in green ballet flats. Photo Source: Brian Davis

JoyD: In the past you have referred to wearing ballet flats as a “fetish”; would you reconsider that now and call it part of your everyday choices from your closet or do you still consider it a “fetish”?

Brian: According to my Google searches, I found a source that said the second most common fetish for men was shoes. I'm not sure where ballet flats rank on the fetish list for men. Wearing flats is an everyday choice for me (weather permitting) but I'm not sure if it is a fetish.

JoyD: I have suggested and so has a commenter or two on this topic, that men wearing ballet flats is the beginning of a natural evolution toward becoming the norm in the same way as women with tattoos, men wearing earrings, men with ponytails. How do you feel about this "natural progression" and being an advocate in the early stages?

Brian: I'm glad to be part of it. I now know how all of those people must have felt as their desires were presented to the world and the acceptance level adjusted. As a male that wears ballet flats I hope it becomes an accepted piece of footwear for men. I know there are lots of men who wear flats but as for the acceptance level from society, that varies. The levels of acceptance I have experienced are; "wow that's cool; whatever/who cares; and lastly WTF?"  Any other guys that wear flats in public likely agree.

I've had questions like "are you wearing women's flats?" Obviously I was, so my answer was yes. The response was "good for you".  That was cool.

I've heard comments between passers-by like "that guy is wearing ballet flats". And responses like "who cares or so what".

Lastly the "WTF"? There have been several occasions were I have received negative reactions. The one that stands out most in my mind was November, 2012 at the Scottsdale Fashion Plaza. I was window shopping and what appeared to be two dads and their kids walked by. I was wearing pink ballet flats so I'm not surprised at this reaction but here's what happened. They spotted me, burst out laughing and had an "iPhone camera frenzy". I knew I was getting digitally photographed but I just let it go. Let them do what they had their minds set on, and then move on. I heard them comparing who got the better pictures of the guy in pink flats as they walked away. Bottom line if you are doing something out of the "norm", you should be prepared for any kind of reaction. Men wearing ballet flats is still not widely accepted but I'm very glad to be part of it.

JoyD: Regarding the photographing and reaction to "doing something out of the norm"; bottom line, their behaviour was disrespectful . . . My calculations tell me that you have been wearing ballet flats for over five years now. Does your family roll their eyes and consider it Brian’s fetish or are they seeing your choice as part of your regular wardrobe? 

Brian: Five years is right. About twenty years ago I felt the need to tell the two best friends in my life, my Mom and Dad, that I like to wear women's shoes. Today they see it as my regular wardrobe. So do most of my friends. If they object, they aren't my friends.

JoyD: That is so reassuring. Your feet can obviously fit "women's" shoes well enough for fashion and comfort. Many women tell me that they don't find ballet flats that comfortable. What are your "fit experiences" with ballet flats?

Brian in Tory Burch black Revas. Photo source: Brian Davis. 

Brian: It's funny how fashion and cuteness can win out over comfort and fit. I've fallen victim to this many times as have many women. The shoes I'm talking about are the iconic Tory Burch Revas, flats named after Tory's mother, Reva. A quick Internet search for "must have flats" for most women (and a few of us men) is the Tory Burch Reva. Another internet search for "Tory Burch Reva reviews" will tell you they aren't for everyone. Owning five pairs, I can honestly say they aren't made for everyone's foot. These adorable feminine must-have flats have caused me foot pain and discomfort in trying to break them in. That said, I wouldn't hesitate to buy another pair.

JoyD: I'm happy to hear that we share the same "shoe un-sensibility". Tory Burch flats, then, are a favourite. Tell me about your other favourites.

Tory Burch Reva flats. Photo Source: Brian Davis

Brian: This question could be a whole post in itself.  After my initial purchases of flats I soon realized I was a huge fan of higher end flats like Michael Kors and Puma flats. Puma actually makes some amazing flats.  But my true favourites are my Tory Burch flats. She is iconic in my mind. Her classic Reva flats with the gold or silver medallion are a must have. Again thanks to the Internet I know I'm not the only guy to have a pair of these. Crazy thing is I now own 14 pairs of Tory Burch flats. Not all Revas but other styles too. I can't say for sure but I would think I'm in the 99th percentile of Tory Burch wearing males. At this moment, my new faves are my TB Eddie ocean breeze water snakeskin flats.

JoyD: I think a post featuring your favourites would be great. Let's work on that. Besides ballet flats, what shoes make up your footwear closet?

Brian: As you know, I live in Canada. With cold winters and snow, I wear boots. Again I cross the gender lines and buy women's boots so flat knee high women's fashion boots are my winter footwear preference.

JoyD: Does your attitude about wearing what you want, irrespective of “acceptability”, come with experience or personality type?

Brian: You know, the older I get the more I see friends miss out on things in their life due to health reasons. (And most aren't that old.) Experience says you work your whole life to enjoy life after work. I live by the following two phrases: "It's better to have done something and regretted doing it than to regret not doing it"; and second "life is like a coin, you can spend it any way you want but you can only spent it once."  I now do things I want to do. Last time I checked I was living my life. Not my life who someone else wanted me to be even though . . . acceptance is huge.

But to answer your question, it's become obvious to me it's my personality and beliefs, which includes quite a bit of stubbornness.

JoyD: It seems rather superficial talking about shoes because in fact it is more than just shoes, isn't it?

Brian: When I started wearing flats in public, I knew or expected that people would react so I'm conscious of others' responses. Since you helped me with my breakthrough, I am still aware of peoples' reactions but really don't care. So now I think that for me at this moment it's about the shoes. I like them. I wear them. I don't worry about changing other peoples' attitudes, but I know that just by wearing them, I might make a difference for someone.

Making a difference, that's what it is all about.