Wedding Gown: Then and if I was doing it Now

Mrs. Sutherland from Glamour Girl Bridal and Formals, on Graham Avenue in Winnipeg, Canada, (no longer in business) wrote the following about my wedding gown:

The bride chose for her wedding day a gown of imported silk organza and re-embroidered Alençon lace. The gown is beautifully enhanced with miniature pearl beading. The gown, in Empire style, has a princess collar and long slim sleeves with a petal point finish at the wrists. The skirt flows in soft lines to the back to form a full chapel train. Scalloped beaded lace trims the collared bodice, sleeves, front of the skirt and train. Her veil of silk illusion in chapel length is edged with the Alençon lace and drifted from a head piece of matching lace trimmed with pearl beading. 

 

This is not a photo of my wedding gown. I only have paper copies and haven't seen the need to transfer them to digital format. 

Therefore, I have been looking for a photograph online of my wedding gown worn in the late 1970s. The closest I have come is the one you see here. The sleeve finish was different on mine. Rather than a cuff, mine had what was called a "petal point" sleeve - a double-scallop border/edge, which I believe looked more elegant than the cuff on this one. The A-line style was the same but it is difficult to assess from online photographs how the lace differed. The neckline was similar. I found this version, dated as late 1960s/early 70s, on Etsy. Mine was purchased in the late 70s so it was probably a popular classic style that lasted a little longer than usual contemporary bridal trends. It's selling there for $527.30. My parents, who ran an upholstery shop and were of modest means, paid $351.75 for my gown.

My mother and I spent a cold February Saturday in Winnipeg shopping and it was the dress I said was "the one" in the first bridal shop window we encountered. And she agreed! The floral Alençon lace (described as a re-embroidered chantilly lace) is imported from France featuring beading which shapes beautifully and if I had to do it over again, I would choose a dress made of the same lace. 

If I were getting married today, I would probably choose something that showed off the back more like this one from Marilyn's Bridal in Aukland, NZ.

The collar of Kate Middleton's gown appeals to me.

Or better still, a bateau-style neckline. This gown was featured in the Mori Lee 2015 Collection.

              

I've been to a lot of weddings in my lifetime and there is only one bridal gown I can say stood out. It was amazing and when I saw it I thought, I would have loved to have gotten married in the same one Carly chose. I wish I had photos! In this case, electronic files disappeared when my husband's first IPad bit the dust. (We lost 3 years of our photograph archived lives on an airplane headed to Vancouver. When we got to the Apple dealership, during this pre-Cloud era, we received the bad news. Nothing was retrievable!)

As I'm thinking about what I should do with this dress — no kids, all my nieces are married, and their children are a long way from being married, and who wants their great-aunt's dress anyway? I'm thinking to have my gown remade into a cocktail-length dress. The dress is a size 2 (now I live in a comfortable size 6 and sometimes 8) but a good tailor should be able to manage. I have a friend who can advise me and maybe even oversee the project. My plan is that I will eventually wear it on our 50th. My husband and I have full intentions of being around for that event! 

Re-construction — it's a thought . . . I'll keep you posted.

Bridesmaids' Dresses from the Past: Thoughts to Consider

It may be spring but brides who are getting married in the fall and winter are choosing the dresses for their attendants. Although styles are certainly different, each of these stories may give the 2017 bride something to think about when considering bridesmaids' dresses. One needs to consider  many factors including body type, even personality, when choosing a dress for someone else.

Bridesmaids Dresses: Flattering or Fattening Choices

Closet Content Analysis: Post-Wedding Possibilities

NICE & NO THANKS

NICE: It was the late 80s and the wedding was held over the Christmas holiday season. The bride chose a Victorian theme for the maids' attire. She bought dark green velvet for the skirts, told us to have a skirt sewn in whatever style was becoming to our figures (the length had to be mid-calf) and then she took us to a shop that sold Victorian style blouses. We bought what we wanted, each blouse being different but still in that Victorian style. Thematically we were the same but we all had different skirt styles and blouse details. We carried holly and white magnolias (albeit artificial). Insofar as dress goes, it was the most beautiful bridal party I ever was part of. I wore that blouse many times after (with jeans and to work under a blazer) and although velvet is not my favourite fabric, I did wear the skirt to my mother's house during the holiday season a few times and once out for a New Year's party.

I still think that dresses or an outfit in the same fabrics and colours, with a theme that ties them together, but in styles that complement each maids' figures is more beautiful than choosing one dress style that everyone has issues with.

I'm your friend. Why are you doing this to me?

NO THANKS 1: to Little Bo Beep bridesmaids' dresses. A friend relayed this 1970s' bridesmaid's story. She was asked to be a "maid of honour" for a friend in southern Ontario. The bride came from old money and so my friend, the maid of honour, believed the dresses would be more elegant than the Bo Peep bridal suggestions that were popular at the time. She told the bride that she would be "honoured" but "mind the Bo Peep style". You know how the story ends. The maids' dresses honoured no one but Little Bo Peep.

NO THANKS 2: On the other end of the continuum is the over the top sexy dress. It was the 90s and the bridesmaids were asked to wear slits up to there showing cleavage down to there. What was the bride thinking? Two of us said no because of the dress. I guess you could accuse us of not being true friends. But at the same time, what kind of friend would expect you to wear something that was not only uncomfortable but also embarrassing?

NO THANKS 3: Another bridesmaids' story from three decades ago concludes in the same way as NO THANKS 1. I was asked to be a "maid of honour" for an "older" bride and I too believed that because she was "older" the dresses would be more elegant, not so cutesy. I too said I would be honoured but I didn't want a bow on my butt. This story ends the same way. My size 4 backend was magnified with a gathered drop waist  and a huge bow on the behind. The shiny stiff satin fabric in teal didn't help either. Each of us wore a different colour - a turquoise-y teal, fuchsia and a deep green. "Garish" is a good word. I'll let you imagine what the young woman who was a size 12 said about the dress.

None of the NO THANKS dresses ever saw the light of day again. What a waste! 

Hit the ___Comments to tell us about the NICE and NO THANKS bridesmaids' dresses from your past - whether you were wearing them or just an innocent bystander.

Trash the Dress

Summer is the season peppered with weddings, actually salted heavily. There was one summer when we were at a wedding every weekend during July and August. Over the past about 10 to 15 years, brides (not that many in my experience) have also taken the liberty to enjoy a "trash the dress" photo opportunity.

Wikipedia tells us that, "the idea of destroying a wedding dress has been used in Hollywood symbolically since at least October 1998 when Meg Cummings of the show Sunset Beach ran into the ocean in her wedding dress"(Retrieved August 5, 2012). Since then professional photographers have capitalized on a second round of photographs from the same bride. Through the process, some brides and photographers began calling it an art form, a new expression against a traditional obligation. OK? First you go through the expense of tradition and then you trash. Hmm? It is a dichotomy.

Mind you, what happens to wedding dresses? They hang in either the bride's closet or her parent's closet until, well, until . . . (you can complete this sentence). My wedding dress is still packed in a cedar lined chest, which was my "hope chest" before getting married. I don't have a daughter or any nieces who would be interested in wearing it for their nuptials and so there it lies. 

Some brides trash their original dress and then others buy a dress specifically for trashing.

Trash the Dress Photo taken by Leslie Porter

Marjorie was one such bride who chose to buy a specific "trash" dress. She said, "I really enjoyed the trash the dress shoot and would recommend it with a bargain type dress if the bride wants to keep her original one as a keepsake." In fact, a number of guests at the wedding decided to take turns at trashing Marjorie's "trash" dress.

This got me thinking. What other "trash the dress" symbolic opportunities are there?

• Retirement: The destruction of a "suit" or "uniform" on your day of retirement. Now that makes enormous sense to me. You have worked at a job for 30 years and on the official day of retirement you trash the dress required by your work. I like that!
• Divorce: Now's the time to trash the wedding dress!
• Graduations: The graduation gown or cape is a perfect trash-able item since graduations traditionally suggest that you are leaving a student life and transferring to a working life. And that in itself has a certain amount of irony.

Perhaps, my ideas are more akin to the 1960's "bra burning" symbolism than to the bride's "trash the dress" symbolism.

So what other possible "trash the dress" photo opportunities could there be? 

Brides Shopping for the Dress

Bridal Dress Choices 

Closet Content Analysis: 

Shopping for the Dress

 NICE      NO THANKS      NOTE-WORTHY         NEED          NEW 

Brides are shopping. Whether a year in advance of the wedding or 3 months or if it's next weekend, brides are shopping. After having done the something blue post, I asked a few brides for their shopping for dresses stories. Ten buying tips emerged from the stories and I have inserted them as the stories unfold for you on this post. There are more practical-minded brides out there than the reality TV shows indicate. This post is going to be a long one.

The market for wedding dresses is more often than not led by emotion and aspiration rather than rational decisions and financial constraints. 

 - Claire Birks

The Canadian brides featured here are not in Claire Birks' category of emotional and irrational brides. LK chose to spend her "wedding" money on a house; Christina's story represents the practical budget-minded bride who maintained her sanity and remained within her budget, and Marjorie Jean S was at first fun-seeking but then turned very serious when she saw "the one". As far as spending goes, Christina spent half what she originally set out to do; and even though, I was an only daughter who always got what she wanted, I knew what my parents could afford and knew enough to save up and buy my own dress.

Christina, a recent bride, wrote, "I had looked at some magazines and done some online style searching before hand and ended up trying on some of those exact styles in the first store we went to. However, I had a discouraging start; the style did not suit me and the one that did … well, the price tag dictated my decision. I do remember that I found a sleek, lace dress that fit me almost to a tee off the rack. The price tag was $1,200.00 (Cdn) and I remember being torn. It was definitely on my wish list, but I knew I wanted to see more because after all - I didn’t want lace, right?" 

Bridal Gown Buying Tip 1: Do some research before but be flexible when shopping. Needless to say, every bride has perused magazines or the internet before shopping. What you see in the glossy magazine layouts may not suit you.

Bridal Gown Buying Tip 2: Stay true to yourself and to the clothing style you feel most comfortable in.

I, on the other hand, wanted Alençon lace with a small amount of beading; although I did not have any preconceived shopping notions because I never thought I would find, in Winnipeg, Manitoba, the dresses I saw in the American bridal magazines. I was wrong about Winnipeg. I took my mother with me and when she saw "the dress" in the shop window, she asked, "What about that one?" It was the first dress I tried on and the one I bought; although I did visit other stores and tried on a few more, just to make sure. At this point in my life, I don't remember any of the others. 

Bridal Gown Buying Tip 3: Trust your mother.

See MJS's shoes on my Something Blue post.  Photo by Leslie Porter.

When Marjorie Jean S went shopping, she was "with (her) mom just to look and get a feel for dresses at Jenny's Bridal in Saskatoon (Saskatchewan, Canada) with no intention on buying until I had seen a lot of dresses at various stores.  After browsing and then trying on some hideous dresses in the "as is" sample section just for fun (Yes, I was one of those girls that had to try on seafoam green and pink dresses for a laugh) we were on our way out when I spotted a gorgeous dress hanging on a dressing room door.  It had just come in and models were getting fitted for an upcoming bridal fashion show.  I tried it on and purchased it immediately.  It was the first (serious) dress I tried on and I have no regrets purchasing it.  It was an a-line with lace overlay and a sweetheart neckline with a shorter train." 



Bridal Gown Buying Tip 4: As a past sales associate in a high end ladies wear shop (that's what it was called back in the day) I could see the fun-seekers coming. The "let's try on some dresses for fun" shopper is like the "boy who called wolf too many times". Careful where you go and how many times you do the "fun" venture, you'll be spotted in an instant and perhaps not served as well as you might be otherwise. Good for Marjorie Jean S that she saw "the one" and knew it. 

Bridal Gown Buying Tip 5: As the brides on this post knew, when you see it, you will know it. Don't second guess yourself.

Christina considers herself "a very practical, simple person" and as she walked into the bridal boutique she kept reminding herself about her $800.00 (Cdn) budget. As she remarks about shopping within her budget, "Not an easy thing to accomplish in a city setting like Ottawa (Ontario, Canada). So, on a Saturday afternoon I had two appointments booked . . . and I only took one girlfriend with me because I knew she’d be honest in her opinions." 

Bridal Gown Buying Tip 6: Take only one good shopping partner, whether it be a friend, your mother, a bridesmaid, your matron of honour; the relationship does not matter but the honesty does. If you can help it, do not go shopping with all your bridesmaids to shop for your dress and theirs on the same day.

LK, a not-so-recent bride in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, Canada told me about her 1975 wedding. "My future husband and I were on a major budget as we were poor students and chose to buy a house with the wedding money our parents gave us to put on the reception. To save money, I wore my mother's dress from 1945.  We got married in 1975 .  . . so I guess I went "vintage".  The dress was quite lovely and fit me perfectly. I just had to hem it a couple of inches and get a slip made for it."

Bridal Gown Buying Tip 7: You do not have to buy new at all. There are many alternatives to buying an expensive wedding dress. Mothers, aunts, friends would all be thrilled to lend their dresses. In larger centres, you can rent wedding gowns. If someone I knew asked me to lend them my wedding dress, I would be honoured and thrilled.

Back to Christina . . . "I must have tried on a dozen dresses. . . The lady who was helping me during my appointment could see that I was getting a little discouraged. It was a long day, but she noted the details that I did like about certain dresses I had tried on and was conscious of my budget. So she told me she had an idea and needed me to be open minded.  A few minutes later, she came out from the other side of the boutique holding a purple, iridescent prom dress and said, trust me. I didn’t ask any questions and followed her into the change room. Once I was zipped up and looked in the mirror I was sold. I ran out of the dressing room and immediately told my friend: This is the one! The lace dress from the first store was history." 

Permission granted to use photo on Closet Fashion Content Analysis.

Bridal Gown Buying Tip 8: Trust the bridal sales associate. Brides are probably the most difficult dress-buying customer on the planet and good sales associates know how to please the bride. This is particularly NOTE-WORTHY and worth repeating, "she noted the details that I did like about certain dresses I had tried on and was conscious of my budget."

Bridal Gown Buying Tip 9: Take a look in other departments besides bridal if you are roadblocked in the bridal department.

Christina's purple prom dress: what a difference a colour makes! Permission granted to use photo on Closet Fashion Content Analysis.

 

Christina's dress in the apple tree her grandfather planted.
Permission granted to use photo on Closet Fashion Content Analysis.

I was lucky enough to get Christina's mom's story about the dress. She writes, "Christina emailed me photos of her in a beautiful purple prom dress, to which I reacted, "Oh my!" Then I read the message that the dress was being ordered in ivory white, to which I responded that her dress should be "white", to which she responded, "not to worry because wedding dress ivory is a white shade, just not a bright white". We were in Ottawa at the time she had her final fitting at the bridal salon. Everything made total sense then. I realized bridal ivory is indeed white and it looked amazing on her skin tone."

A NICE & NOTE-WORTHY Aside: Christina's maternal grandfather died five months before her wedding to Matt. The photo is significant for her because it was her grandfather who planted the apple tree when Christina was little.

Other brides I spoke with were looking for something other than the "strapless" style, which has been so predominant in all the bridal shops over the past five years. For them, their selections may be fewer but nonetheless beautiful and they were able to find what they wanted.

Permission granted to use photo on Closet Fashion Content Analysis.

You cannot see the detail on Carly Blake's dress (from Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada) in this photo but I was enamoured when I saw it. Even though, strapless gowns have been most popular over the past five years, this discreet neckline still made the bride ravishing. Although not anything like Kate Middleton's gown, I had the same NICE! reaction to this one. 

Bridal Gown Buying Tip 10: If you can't find what you want, don't give up and don't settle for "good enough".

I'll let Christina have the last word, "I know that there are many beautiful dresses out there and I know that we all have different tastes, styles and budgets. It would have been so easy to spend thousands, but I stuck to my character and do not regret my decision. I wore the dress for one day and by the end of the night it was dirty and tattered and now hangs in a closet (still dirty and tattered)". 


This topic deserves another post. You can email me, joydcreations@gmail.com, with your bridal gown buying story. Then there's also the "trash dress" stories. So much to write about . . .

A Bride's Something Blue

 

Bridal Blue Choices

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a silver sixpence in her shoe.

- A Victorian Era Saying

Closet Content Analysis: Something Blue

 NICE      NO THANKS      NOTE-WORTHY         NEED          NEW 

Brides getting married in the summer in 2012 already have their dresses or gowns chosen but it is the extras that some brides are still contemplating.

 

Whether a bride chooses an icy pale blue dress or blue nail polish, following the "something blue" in the Old English Victorian bridal mantra, seems required. Then there are those who have good intentions. Under-garments are a great way to incorporate the something blue, but one recent bride (JO, my massage therapist) found the perfect "something blue" underwear in lime green. So be it.

 

NO THANKS: The "something blue" for many brides, past and present, is one of those single garters sold in a box that has as much lace trim as the garter. Sigh. Now should I tell you how I really feel about bridal lace garters? Mind, the photograph is pretty. However, tradition being what it is, if the groom is planning to throw a garter, you might do better to support a crafts person, such as the person making and selling garters on GarterBoutique (Etsy). I have no idea who she/he is or if her/his work is any good but if I were to do it now, I would buy from a private source such as this individual rather than from the wedding bric-a-brac store.

Here are a few examples of brides who smartly chose their "something blue" choices.

 

 "blue shoes" by Lesley Porter

NICE : Blue heels or flats for "something blue" is a great move. For her destination wedding in Mexico, Marjorie Jean S. chose, "a pair of Manolo Blahnik Something Blue satin heels (Featured in the original Sex and the City movie)." She goes on to say, "The shoes were beautiful, and I did break them in, but with the heat of the day and all the walking, I was barefoot for most of the time other than the ceremony and some pictures."

At other tropical destination weddings, the brides chose: blue flowers as hair-pieces, blue crystals in the bridal jewelry and blue trim on the wedding gown.

The blue sparkle on this wedding gown was captured by Carly Blake Photography.

NOTE-WORTHY 1 - Family: Cara C told me the following story: "I have a friend who did something lovely . . .  (she) was really close to her grandfather but he had passed prior to her wedding . . . she took fabric from one of his old blue ties and had it sewn in a tiny heart at the back of her dress in memory of him. It really was beautiful!!"Now that is NICE  and NOTE-WORTHY.

NOTE-WORTHY 2 - Heritage: Canada has always prided itself on being a multi-cultural country and many families keep traditions from their ancestors' ethnic and national backgrounds. Judy-Anne AKA Jzaba told me about incorporating her Eastern European background into her something blue which was "a blue sheer ruffle with embroidered Ukrainian motif flowers (roses) in red and dark blue. This ruffle was around the neckline, bottom of the dress and on the cuff of the sleeve. . . bridesmaid's dresses were in blue too, with embroidery on them." 

Contemporary bride wearing a headscarf to symbolize
 her status as a married woman (in Ukrainian tradition).

Another cultural trait  from brides with Eastern European background, in this case Ukrainian, is to have the bridal veil removed at the end of the wedding festivities and before she goes off with her new husband. A "babushka" square scarf is then wrapped around her head to symbolize that she can now no longer wear flowers in her hair because she is a married woman. (Apologies for the out of focus representation but it was a tiny part of the original photo and I enlarged it from the original panorama shot.)

The blue bridal choice for me was the blue "babushka"  kerchief in honour of my Ukrainian maternal grandmother, however, the symbolism was inconsequential for me.









Share your "something blue" stories.