Two Decades of Wearing Ballet Flats

 Brian's Passion for Ballet Flats  Timeline

Brian's passion began when he first noticed, then coveted, the white leather Ked running shoes "all" the cool girls were wearing in high school. From that moment he wanted a pair. He discovered Keds also made ballet-flats and soon he began collecting different patterns and styles. Here began close relationships with sales associates who made sure to inform him of new styles and colours. The Keds sales gal was the first of many who helped Brian out with finding the perfect ballet flat. Coinciding with his Keds discovery was the fabric Chinese-influenced brown-soled Mary Janes. The Mary Janes are long gone but the Keds have continued to be a wearable choice in his closet.

During this developing passion for ballet flats, he was not loyal to any one brand but he did begin showing a preference for particular fabrication, decoration, and comfort. Nine West, Puma, and Michael Kors progressively became favourites during this period. 

As with any collection, once you have everything you can get locally, you want, no you need to expand your collection by exploring what is available out there. When he mentioned Tory Burch to the Michael Kors sales staff, the gal who got to know him well, told him to check the next time he went back to Arizona where he vacationed every year. Brian had one of those smack yourself in the forehead kind of moments. But of course.

"And that's when my passion for Tory started — November 23rd, 2001." For seventeen years, he was loyal. How loyal? Imagine, additional pairs in every shade Tory Burch offered (in those seventeen years) between each of the base colours in this photograph.

"I still love my Tory's but in 2018, I decided to try a pair of Tieks." He actually anticipated hating them but Tieks has a free shipping and return policy within the United States and so he thought, "Why not?" He ordered a pair of the blue Tieks called Sapphire. He loved them and four days later, ordered another two pairs.

His transition from Tory to Tieks was influenced by two practical factors — the sales people at Tory Burch (with whom he developed relationships) had moved on and he already owned every pair he wanted. I imagine after awhile it becomes more of the same. I have never had the good fortune to test out that theory. Brian feels both are similar in comfort but his Tory Burch selections have a classier feel style-wise. His Tieks have become his ballet flat of choice for everyday wear. 

Relationships continued to be a part of his ballet flats experience. Tieks has an organized social media following numbering 40,000 members, male and female, from all over the world. Brian now belongs to the group and has become f2f friends with some of them. TieksMeets, when Tieks "fanatics" (that's Brian's word) and Tieks in the Wild when you see someone wearing Tieks nurture the Tieks phenomena. I know how the TITW people feel because when I'm out, carrying a Lancel bag and see someone else with one I want so much to go up to them and ask them about their Lancel. With the number of ballet flats Brian has and with spring organizing on my mind, I'll soon be talking to him about the content of his closets.

What's not to love?

Your Personal De-Cluttering Guide

Necessary: It's time for spring cleaning — or just general de-cluttering. 

The following strategy is all about "how to do anything better". It can be called "time management" or "organizational development" or "solving management problems" but in this case, it's simply how to get your closets and drawers organized.

Statistics Canada tells us that 2/3 of the population considers themselves stressed and theories abound that a cluttered environment at work and at home increases everyday living stress. Too much to do, too little time. Self-help books are out there and helpful — everything from Don't Sweat the Small Stuff to Awaken the Giant Within. All of them deal with the issue of putting first things first and just doing it.

Whenever you face a "spring cleaning" dilemma, the Nike slogan needs to be first in your mind, "Just do it!" Often the response after this command is "but . . . " The "but" statement comes from how you perceive yourself. If you see yourself as disorganized, you will continually perpetuate this state. It's called self-fulfilling prophecy. "That's just the way I am," can apparently be changed through your own self-talk to "I take pleasure in keeping my life organized." An organized perception or state affects how you approach even the mundane.

Noteworthy: More to the point of this blog post, Do you open your closet door, find only one shoe, and have to take out 15 other shoes before you find the match, close the door and promise to get to it  . . . tomorrow and tomorrow never comes? Underlying any behavior is the "pain and pleasure" principle — if something brings you enough pain, you are likely to change it so that it becomes more pleasurable. Therefore, the only reason you haven't organized your shoes is that there may not be enough pain associated with looking for the errant shoe. Alrighty then. Depending on how much pain or stress you are experiencing will depend on whether you want to keep reading or not.

Nice: The three principles to getting anything done are:

1. Set Achievable Goals: Divide the work into small tasks and get rid of that overwhelming feeling. Years ago, I began by breaking spring cleaning or de-cluttering into small, manageable tasks. My solution was to deal with one shelf or one drawer or one file folder, a container, a box, even one pocket, anything, but it had to be one something, which had to get cleaned, sorted, organized, or put away each day. It worked. In fact, I collaborated with Janet Parkinson at Changing Spaces by Design and wrote A Box A Day: A 30 Day Journal to Triumph over Clutter. With a place for everything, it's easier to put everything in its place. 

It really does work. I put my stuff in order, found stuff I had forgotten I owned and got rid of stuff I no longer need . . . The result: I know what I have and where to find it. Amazing!

— Shirley B, Canada

2. Believe in yourself, believe you can do it. If you don't believe you have the ability to do one something every day, then take action to achieve the skills you need. Many tools exist and yes, forgive me for blatant self-promotion, A Box a Day is a guided journaling tool that will get you started and believing in your ability to get it done. Daily affirmations get you into the habit of believing in yourself: I am efficient at making decisions to help me de-clutter.

3. Commit and Take Action. It's not hard work; it's not good luck. All you have to do is commit a length of time, even if it's only 10 minutes, to a "box" that can be accomplished in that amount of time, and do it every day. You can also break it down further into categories — but again, sort only one something, your shoes, your winter boots, scarves (winter/summer), only one category. Don't get carried away. You set the limits and commit to doing it. 

These mundane tasks, the little things, will result in a solution. Doing it for 30 days may even get you into the habit so that a "box" a day becomes a pattern for life.

Start Today and Click Here to Visit the Launch Page for

A Box a Day: A 30-Day Journal to Triumph Over Clutter 

Your Personal De-Cluttering Guide

A Pulled Together Look in Your Closet

The blog post, about "vote" fashion, inspired more thought about what we choose to wear or in some cases, what we are forced to wear. 

I was in a "box store" the other day and asked a badge-wearing employee where I could find the bundles of copy paper. As she turned toward me, her t-shirt said, "Tell someone who cares." She grunted and pointed me in the right direction. Before I left the store, I stopped at customer service and described the t-shirt. I couldn't help myself. I finished by saying, "It may just be me and I know it's just a t-shirt, but for someone who is representing the company, it sent me the wrong message." Of course, customer service thanked me but I don't know if the employee will "get it". If a command is given from above, with no explanation of why then this young person will not have learned anything. Rightly or wrongly so — what we wear tells the world who we are and what we think. "It's just a t-shirt," is the defense one uses when rationalizing for wearing something objectionable to parents, bosses, and teachers. 

There are many sayings or symbols on clothing that are meant to shock. Fine, do it on your own time. If I had seen the same t-shirt on the street, I wouldn't have given it a second thought. Worn on an employee in the service industry, it sent the wrong message.

Being forced to wear something for your job that you find objectionable is quite another story. The classic is what some refer to as the "monkey suit". It originates with the monkey on old-time movies who was dressed in a vest, bow tie, and hat and performed tricks to make money for the man playing the tune on a crank-turned organ grinder machine. The monkey was obliged to wear the suit to collect money in a tin cup and so any "uniform" required for work became a "monkey suit". 

"Monkey suits" vary from the classic suit requirement to standardized uniforms to skimpy outfits for waiters and waitresses. I suppose one doesn't have to apply at that place of business. But in some desperate situations that won't be an option.

Most of us are left to make our own choices. For the past 40 years, clothing for work has been evolving to easy understated sportswear-styles. Even though you can dress casually, you should still look pulled together.

The following guidelines can help you create that "pulled together" look:

1) 3 Base Colours - Have at least one base colour - we'll use navy for an example. Navy is a good summer and winter colour. For winter add grey and beige. In the summer add white and another bright colour. Build your accessories around at least one of the base neutral colours. In summer I follow the colour scheme of sea, sand and sky — blue, beige and white. My winter colours are black, beige and grey. I add colour with fashion jewellery, scarves and shoes.

2) Update your wardrobe each season with accessories or one or two new pieces that fits or ties your base colours together. This year it was a plaid blue, white and black Smythe blazer for me. (Mind you, I'd never wear the dress the model is wearing with it.)

Spend more on classic pieces so that you don't feel obligated to keep wearing an outdated article. When your favorite pair of shoes starts to look shabby, look for a similar or identifcal pair. Don't settle. If you know what you like and were pleased with it, search until you find it. You will feel most satisfied if you are able to add to and build a solid base. As well, you will spend half as much as you did when you bought every new fashion fad or settled on less.

3) Stay away from colours that drain you or that make you feel uncomfortable. I have never been happy in orange. Some reds, definitely not those that are orangey, I enjoy wearing. I will always temper red with accessories. Brown, olives or anything muddy will never be base colours for me. I just don't feel comfortable in them. Yet I love camel, but again with an accessory combining the neutrals with other colours.

4) Perfect Fit. A tight fit will always accentuate therefore a tight t-shirt with tight pants will accentuate all of the body parts you don't want to accentuate. My rule is to never buy pants in clingy fabrics. The pants I buy have to be narrow through the thighs and knees without any pleats or gathers at the waistline. Set up your criteria for the best fit and follow it. Buy the best you can because quality clothes keep their shape and will look better longer. When you find the perfect fitting t-shirt, buy them in multiples.

5) Choose a signature accessory whether jewellery, scarves or ballet flats. For me it's stacked bangles and bracelets. 

What you feel you look best in will also be what you will be most comfortable in. For most of us, that means separates. I'm short and I like my legs, so in the summer skirts are easier to buy than pants, which have to be hemmed, adding yet more cost to the item. Separates may take more time to organize, but once you have your colour combinations in sync, you don't have to think about what to wear. There will always be a comfortable pulled together look available in your closet.

😃Spring 2021 Update: Does dis-order in your life overwhelm you? Changing Spaces by Design has recently published a guided journal with inspiring affirmations, suggested daily strategies to create clutter-free spaces, time management recommendations, and charts to record your project. Shirley B says, "I embarked on the process and am pleased to say that it really does work. I put my stuff in order, found stuff I had forgotten I owned, and got rid of stuff I no longer need (that is somebody else’s stuff now). The result – I know what I have, and where to find it. Amazing!"

You can check out their launch page at 30 Day Journal to Triumph Over Clutter.