Bridesmaids' Dresses from the Past: Thoughts to Consider

It may be spring but brides who are getting married in the fall and winter are choosing the dresses for their attendants. Although styles are certainly different, each of these stories may give the 2017 bride something to think about when considering bridesmaids' dresses. One needs to consider  many factors including body type, even personality, when choosing a dress for someone else.

Bridesmaids Dresses: Flattering or Fattening Choices

Closet Content Analysis: Post-Wedding Possibilities

NICE & NO THANKS

NICE: It was the late 80s and the wedding was held over the Christmas holiday season. The bride chose a Victorian theme for the maids' attire. She bought dark green velvet for the skirts, told us to have a skirt sewn in whatever style was becoming to our figures (the length had to be mid-calf) and then she took us to a shop that sold Victorian style blouses. We bought what we wanted, each blouse being different but still in that Victorian style. Thematically we were the same but we all had different skirt styles and blouse details. We carried holly and white magnolias (albeit artificial). Insofar as dress goes, it was the most beautiful bridal party I ever was part of. I wore that blouse many times after (with jeans and to work under a blazer) and although velvet is not my favourite fabric, I did wear the skirt to my mother's house during the holiday season a few times and once out for a New Year's party.

I still think that dresses or an outfit in the same fabrics and colours, with a theme that ties them together, but in styles that complement each maids' figures is more beautiful than choosing one dress style that everyone has issues with.

I'm your friend. Why are you doing this to me?

NO THANKS 1: to Little Bo Beep bridesmaids' dresses. A friend relayed this 1970s' bridesmaid's story. She was asked to be a "maid of honour" for a friend in southern Ontario. The bride came from old money and so my friend, the maid of honour, believed the dresses would be more elegant than the Bo Peep bridal suggestions that were popular at the time. She told the bride that she would be "honoured" but "mind the Bo Peep style". You know how the story ends. The maids' dresses honoured no one but Little Bo Peep.

NO THANKS 2: On the other end of the continuum is the over the top sexy dress. It was the 90s and the bridesmaids were asked to wear slits up to there showing cleavage down to there. What was the bride thinking? Two of us said no because of the dress. I guess you could accuse us of not being true friends. But at the same time, what kind of friend would expect you to wear something that was not only uncomfortable but also embarrassing?

NO THANKS 3: Another bridesmaids' story from three decades ago concludes in the same way as NO THANKS 1. I was asked to be a "maid of honour" for an "older" bride and I too believed that because she was "older" the dresses would be more elegant, not so cutesy. I too said I would be honoured but I didn't want a bow on my butt. This story ends the same way. My size 4 backend was magnified with a gathered drop waist  and a huge bow on the behind. The shiny stiff satin fabric in teal didn't help either. Each of us wore a different colour - a turquoise-y teal, fuchsia and a deep green. "Garish" is a good word. I'll let you imagine what the young woman who was a size 12 said about the dress.

None of the NO THANKS dresses ever saw the light of day again. What a waste! 

Hit the ___Comments to tell us about the NICE and NO THANKS bridesmaids' dresses from your past - whether you were wearing them or just an innocent bystander.

It's All About the Fit: 5 Reveals to Know When it Doesn't

A Fitting Choice

Closet Content Analysis: Underwear, Shoulder Seams and Waistline

 NO THANKS  - MAKE IT NICE

I've written about "fit" before but it seems to be a recurring theme when writing a clothing blog.

Most people associate comfort with oversized clothing yet when it comes to style, comfort and look, it is all about the fit. If t-shirts should not be tight, then they should be loose, but how loose? Fitted loose. Fitted loose? What in the world is fitted loose? 

Here's my definition of fitted loose: shoulder seams sit on the shoulders, and sleeves and body are wide enough to allow for breathing space but not baggy. You should not have the sensation of fabric clinging to your skin. Yet, t-shirts should not drape unless of course the design is such that it is made to do so. They also should not be so tight as to see every roll or every muscle, as the case may be. Although I can understand why, if you had abdominal muscles that were that pronounced, you would want to wear a tight t-shirt.

Make it NICE

It seems rather simplistic to have to explain when clothing is too tight or too baggy or just misplaced, but just in case, you want a quick check list, change your clothing into something that fits  . . . 

Photo Source: Office Glam

NO THANKS: 1. if underwear or the lack thereof is producing lumps and bumps that shouldn't be there; or perhaps I could say, over-emphasizing what in fact is there. It seems to be a worldwide problem as articulated by Aclyne Njiraini from Kenya in the post, Undercover Operation on her blog, Office Glam. Clothing should fall or lay smoothly on the body even if your underwear doesn't. Mind you, good fitting underwear is the best starting point. By the way, the front can be as revealing as the rear.

2. if shoulder seams are laying halfway down your arm. It's too big and therefore it's sloppy. Shoulder seams should be where your shoulders are. A raglan sleeve is different but even that sleeve has a fit to it. Of course, you can sleep in your boyfriend's t-shirt but don't venture out in it. 

3. if you have forgotten where your waist is - a waist is a waist irrespective of its girth. Healthfully for women it should not be more than 31 inches or 80 cm around and for men 37 inches or 94 cm is the guideline. When fitting pants or skirts, do not rise too much above it or go too far below it. Low rise jeans have had their day and anyone who wears their trousers midway down their buttocks, near to their chests or under their bellies are all in need of "waistband re-analysis".

4. if you are tugging some piece of clothing down, up or across. Obviously that item is too short, too plunging or too something. If you are tugging at it when looking in the mirror, then you will unconsciously be tugging at it when you are out. Adjusting your clothing from sitting to standing is acceptable but adjusting because of self-consciousness is not.

5. if the buttons on your shirt are straining and puckering the cloth across your chest from the pull. Physics is at work here and the shirt is just too tight. There is nothing to advise but find another shirt that fits, meaning the buttons lay flat and there are no extra puckers or ripples.

Don't get hung up on numbers (sizes), just wear what fits well.

Even the most inexpensive outfit will look good if the fit is perfect and the most expensive designer clothing will look shabby if it doesn't fit. 

Focus on fit for the next while and you will discover a sophistication you might not have thought you had in addition to just feeling comfortable in your clothes (as well as your skin).

ITSO. . . In the Style of Kellyanne Conway. . .

NO THANKS . . . an opinion

There are features in this woman's style which are examples of how not to present yourself. Katharine Hepburn told Jane Fonda that it is ". . . not just what you have on and how you look, but your presentation as a human being in all levels was important." (Retrieved from a People interview with Fonda)

Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street, fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening.

- Coco Chanel

And what is happening is slightly disconcerting to many of us. One can conclude that she is simply presenting the style, the mannerisms, the way of being that represents the man she is working for and essentially all those who voted for him. She supports him and has never wavered in that support. That is commendable. However, there were many through history who supported dictators and imbeciles who managed to be in or lead in government office. Enough of that rant . . . 

Five No Thanks Features in Kellyanne Conway's style . . . 

Vain trifles as they seem, clothes have, they say, more important offices than to merely keep us warm. They change our view of the world and the world’s view of us. 

– Virginia Woolf

Photo Source: A Reuters photo
retrieved on February 28, 2017 from MarketWatch (posted January 20, 2017)

1. No Thanks to dressing in a costume-look when attending an event other than a costume party. There are ways it could have been made to look less costume-y; however the best advice is to stay away from any hint of a costume look.

According to a MarketWatch  summary, Kellyanne Conway reportedly called her Gucci-designed red, white and blue coat, which she wore to the presidential inauguration, “revolutionary wear". Alrighty then . . .

To me, clothing is a form of self-expression – there are hints about who you are in what you wear. 

– Marc Jacobs

Photo Source: Retrieved  February 28, 2017
from DailyMail (posted January 7, 2017)

2. Jackets with frou frou are trendy and therefore become dated quickly making for a clownish appearance rather than a classic one. In this case, what appears to be a gold lamé jacket seems "off" when going for lunch.  She is often seen in red and it suits her. The clothing elements completing this beige base does not look "stylish", or "put together" properly. 

Maybe it looked ok in the mirror when she finished dressing but it certainly did not photograph well. This is something with which most of us do not have to concern ourselves. However, in an age when it seems the greatest selling feature of a phone is the quality of the pictures it takes, more of us are finding ourselves in photographs we wish never would have been taken. We all want to look our best in photographs so you would think, those in the public eye would be more careful.

Notice that this particular jacket offends at two levels: inappropriate for a noon luncheon (especially at the White House) and it doesn't appear to fit.

Photo Source:
Retrieved February 28, 2017 from the
DailyMail (posted July 5, 2016)

3. Kellyanne Conway has a fit figure and looks good in much of what she wears; however, there are many photographs that show her wearing something that appears to fit too small. When it comes to style, "fit" is everything. 

A non-clothing style feature in this photo is the importance of posture. But is it her posture or is it an under-clothing thing? Perhaps she just needed a better bra. Whichever it is, she should have worn a jacket over this dress. I am partial to jackets and I believe, just as men wear suits and jackets in business and formal situations, women are wise to borrow the look. Of course, wear a dress or skirt and shirt under the jacket but wear a jacket. Not only is it more formal, it also camouflages particular features. But be careful when choosing a jacket . . . 

Photo Source: Reuters Photo
Retrieved  February 28, 2017 from NYPost 
(Posted November 13, 2016)

Does this jacket not fit properly? It's hard to tell with this particular style. When it is worn open as it is here, it looks like the fit is too small and so the wearer hopes that it will be passable if it is left undone. No Thanks. It was better done up as in the photograph on style point #2.

Clothing can be expensive but if it doesn't fit well, it will look cheap.  Cheap clothing that fits well is truly more stylish.

The only real elegance is in the mind; if you’ve got that, the rest really comes from it.

– Diana Vreeland

Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.

 – Rachel Zoe

Photo Source: Retrieved February 28, 2017 from DailyMail

4. There are many famous quotes about style that go beyond what one is wearing. Kellyanne Conway appears to be wearing an appropriate dress for a meeting but maybe a jacket would have added an element of formality to match the gathering (but not the jacket she chose to wear in the previous two photos). In this example, her choice of clothing is less important than what she is doing. Why was she going through unflattering contortions to take a photo? Her physical position on the couch seems incongruous to her professional position and as others have noted, disrespectful to the visitors. Simply, she should be attending to the business happening in the oval office, not to the photo op. Someone took the photo of her; perhaps she should have left the official photographer to do his or her work. No Thanks to her lack of proper behaviour in a formal setting.

Clothes aren’t going to change the world, the women who wear them will.

– Anne Klein 

5. In her role of White House advisor, I expect more . . . more decorum, more thoughtful expression, more intelligent responses, more respect, more of what one aspires to be and not of what one is embarrassed to watch.

To have style definitely has less to do with what you wear. It is how you speak, how you carry yourself, how you behave and how you treat other people. So here's a big No Thanks to Kellyanne Conway's style from one Canadian's perspective.

On Bandage Dresses and Bad Language

NOTE-WORTHY
with a consequential NO THANKS

I try to write something everyday and often go to writing exercises to accomplish this. There is an exercise that asks one to force-fit three completely unrelated ideas chosen randomly and write a 1000 word article relating the three concepts in a socially significant way. I put ten ideas in the hat and the three I chose were Donald Trump, bad language and bandage dresses. In effect the first two are not unrelated; however the bandage dress did prove to be a challenge. I put one more criteria upon the exercise and that was to write it as a blog post. Here I go . . . 

The American President's "locker room language" remark, in an attempt to dismiss his use of two very derogatory words when denigrating women he has known, reflects the evolution of "bad language". I guess he feels that if he associates it with an immature "behind closed doors" kind of behaviour that we will accept it. He's hiding behind that cultural construct, not facing what he said. He probably should have said something more like, "I said it, I now wish I hadn't." Take responsibility for the words you say and the words you write, don't blame anyone or anything else. Yet this may be significant as far as what is acceptable or becoming more acceptable in society. 

As long as men feel that somehow women are or should be more "pure" than them then there will always be "locker room language". Inequality still exists at this most base level. The meanings of these types of words are used to denigrate someone either by sex, ethnicity, colour, political affiliation, or socio-economic status. Therefore it is all tied up in meaning and perception. 

The word "fuck" only holds as much negativity as society has assigned to it and here in North America it is considered the worst expletive there is. It is still called the F word by many and it is still a difficult word for me to say and write (although I have done both). At one time its use indicated a low social status or a minimal educational background but now perhaps it is in the process of eventually losing its force. That may be, but still, because of its "bad language" status it finds itself more so in adolescent banter, rap lyrics and in "the locker-room". I think of the use of "damn" or "hell", words that were once considered blasphemous, are now used without any horrible consequences. I remember being in Ireland and hearing "fuck" in conversations as likely as "damn". It's a word; it's just a word, to indicate emphasis, and perhaps it is evolving. In France, a public billboard read, "Fuck le S.I.D.A." (SIDA is the acronym for AIDS). I say "merde" or "schiesse" more than I say "shit"; in a foreign language it seems less vulgar. In translation or different cultural contexts, the connotations are not the same.

"Bandage dresses" are in the same category. In 1985, when French designer, Hervé Peugnet (now known as Hervé Léger), introduced the bandage dress, who would have thought that for the past thirty-two years it would keep recurring? It was seen as a trend in European discos in 1985 and is now replacing the traditional prom dress in the United States. The bandage dress has infiltrated into traditional settings and has affected all ages.

I should have left it hanging in the store but
I did remove the frou frou from the shoulder strap.
Photo Source: JoyD Creations

Who is buying this dress? I would think, but I have no statistical evidence to prove or disprove this: it is mainly the late teens and the twenty-somethings; however, the thirty- and forty- somethings who have something to prove are buying them and the fifty- or iffy- somethings who are searching for their twenties have them in their closets. It has infiltrated all ages and very often, all sizes. Although it sells most in the "up to the size 8" range.

And yes there is one in my closet. I had lost forty pounds in 2011, needed a dress for a charity event and had something to prove to myself. I wore it to the charity banquet and maybe, I can't quite remember, for New Year's once. I have used expletives more than that. 

We need to lose the meanings behind both the bandage dress and expletives. Like the word "fuck", the bandage dress won't go away and they have their purposes for the persons who use them. Is it possible that eventually both will become mundane and no one will blink when either is used? There are mothers all over North America who are trying not to see the negative connotations of the bandage dress on their sixteen year old daughters as the young women swoon over them and demand them as their prom dresses.

Will all this cause the demise of society? Likely not. When the telephone was invented, some considered it an instrument of the devil and there were predictions that communication between people would suffer and hence the demise of society was imminent. Rock and roll was seen in the same way. Mini-skirts were probably viewed just like bandage dresses until your Math teacher showed up in one. When "hell" or "damn" were once used, you would end up in the public stockade and scorned. I think society will survive while wearing bandage dresses and using expletives in their conversations because both just may lose their initial shocking meaning. There will be other things and words to take their places.

Back to "The Donald" . . . I have put him in the same category as bad language and bandage dresses. Incongruence is what motivates growth and development in society. Donald Trump provides that contrast to all that we traditionally know as political and social decorum. He needed to prove something and was needed to prove something - we shall see what that something is. We shall also see how the reaction to the Trump contrast will develop, along with bad language and bandage dresses.

As writing exercises go . . . I'm not really sure if the objective was reached but, this one was note-worthy with a consequential no thanks.

Retro . . . No Thanks . . .

Closet Content Analysis: Two 1970s Trends  

Choices: Won't Do It Again!

NO THANKS

Several publicity emails have arrived celebrating the retro looks of the 70s which are apparently the trend for the spring and summer of 2015. I once read or heard an expression that if you have lived through and embraced one particular trend, do not wear it the second time around. I agree completely. I don't think I could bring myself to wear bell bottoms again. I have written about re-doing trends before, when I re-visited platform shoes. 

Tom Ford Bell Bottoms, 2015. Photo Source: Holt Renfrew

Check out Holts Muse for more Retro Looks. Can you believe we ever wore bell bottoms? And can you believe they, whomever they is, want us to wear them again? Sigh . . . I do not know what it is, from a strictly analytical point of view, but I just don't like the design. I must have been 11 or 12 when bell bottoms first became popular and I pestered my mother until she acquiesced. Now that I am older than my mother was at that time, I can understand her hesitation completely. Yet I cannot tell you exactly what it is about them that I do not like.

Photo Source: Michael Kors

Then there's the crocheted dress. Another "no thanks" for me. I never liked them in the 70's and they didn't come back much better. However, as with most trends there are those who love how Michael Kors has brought back the crocheted dress. Of course, it would be cute on a teenage body - I'll give it that and I suppose it is for those whom the trends are meant.  If you love the crocheted dress, it's best you visit another site like the Independent with their 10 best crocheted dresses post.

My husband suggested that I might want to stop writing at this moment because all these thoughts may insidiously lead to macramé and tie-dying.

Team Sport Apparel - "Naive" Perhaps, but still Inappropriate

No Thanks

While in France, I try to keep current with what is happening in Canada and I am surprised and slightly shocked that a Junior hockey team has resurrected a former mascot for nostalgia sake it seems. See the story in the Saskatoon Star Phoenix.

What we wear is open for interpretation by whoever meets us, without knowing who we are and without knowing what our philosophies are. Mascots, since they are emblazoned on sports team clothing, represent the wearers in some way, even though it may be frivolous.

In this case, the team decision makers have associated a questionable mascot with success and popularity from their past. This character suggests a male of Middle Eastern heritage wielding a hockey stick associated with the Raiders team name. In the 90s, the team had replaced him with a pirate, but now the former mascot has been returned. In recent times, North American sport team mascots have become more neutral with those having names associated with aboriginal peoples changed so that no offence is taken by any particular person of native ancestry.

How important is a mascot to the community and to the players? Presently any one of the players on the Raiders team is only old enough to know the pirate logo from direct experience. The community has a significant percentage of First Nations and a new, albeit small percentage of Middle Eastern descent. Who were the decision makers? . . . my speculation suggests it was those who are 50+ and not members with an association to an ethnic minority.

I imagine that the number of fans who will choose to wear this logo on their chests have not analyzed it completely. They may rationalize by saying, "Get a life, it's just a mascot, it's just a sport." That may be, but you can't discount the perceptions of others. The numbers in the stands will represent to the world whether naive nostalgia is more important than presenting a positive image. 

Rightly or wrongly so . . . here are a few quotes that reflect clothing, personality and philosophy . . . in this case, it is more the mascot than the clothes . . .

A man cannot dress, but his ideas get cloath'd at the same time. (Laurence Sterne) 

What a strange power there is in clothing. (Isaac Bashevis Singer) 

Every uniform corrupts one's character. (Max Frisch) 

Know, first, who you are; and then adorn yourself accordingly. (Epictetus) 

Carelessness in dressing is moral suicide. (Honoré de Balzac) 

Clothes can suggest, persuade, connote, insinuate, or indeed lie, and apply subtle pressure while their wearer is speaking frankly and straightforwardly of other matters. (Anne Hollander)

Clothes are never a frivolity:  they always mean something. (James Laver)

But then again, perhaps it is not the wearer but the viewer who perceives. . . 

Any affectation whatsoever in dress implies, in my mind, a flaw in the understanding. (Philip Dormer Stanhope)

Choice, a difficult attribute, . . .

Be careless in your dress if you will, but keep a tidy soul. (Mark Twain)

(Quotes retrieved November 19, 2014 from Quote Garden.)

. . . and then maybe it's just a marketing ploy . . . even negative reaction plays into marketing statistics . . .

Age Appropriate?

I don't like it when people say, "You're 45, so you should be wearing X and never Y". For me, dressing is about attitude, not age.

- Twiggy 

OK Twiggy, I'm over 45 and I do think that there are times that I should be "wearing X and never Y". I will agree that attitude plays a part but sometimes one's attitude can influence them to make inappropriate choices. As a teacher once told me, "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should".

For the most part, people are kind and will not criticize what you have chosen to wear. But what about the times when you or maybe someone else wants to say something, but doubt arises for a variety of reasons and so nothing is said? My mother used to voice the saying, "When in doubt, don't!" 

Here are some of the things that others have suggested people at a particular age should not wear.

Closet Choice: NICE OR NO THANKS?

Your Choice . . .

When and with what do we stop?

1. Skinny jeans/pants. I'm still wearing mine and I love them. I know more women who are 45+ wearing them than not. I don't see a problem. Should I? They are becoming a classic, a basic in the closet.

2. Short shorts or short skirts. I've given them up but there are others who haven't. Is this unreasonable?

My Favourite Jimmy Choos. Photo by JoyD's husband.

3. Heels. I have a pair of Jimmy Choo's. I love them. I wear them and I will wear them as long as I can; yet there are those who say high heels should be given up when you reach a particular age. My feet are in good shape - no fallen arches, no bunions and I have decent legs. I won't give up my heels until my feet tell me to.

4. Denim. Now I think this is ridiculous but someone somewhere put doubt in my mind. Where did I hear that after a particular age one should not wear denim? To me, this one is not debatable. In fact, I began watching for denim and it appears that is is the fabric of choice amongst the 50+ age group. Does this mean they are all wrong? Mind, there are a few questionable choices made by some, but for the most part denim is worn well by all those I see on the street. This too is an evolution of what is considered a classic.

5. Cleavage revealing tops. What is too old for those women who have great skin and beautiful cleavage and the attitude to pull it off?

OK Twiggy, I will defer to you . . . attitude does seem to be the discerning factor.

Women at Grocery Store Wardrobe

When l review the search engine words that bring you to this blog, I am sometimes amazed at the words and phrases that actually get you here. Over the past week, one of the phrases intrigued me and that was "women at grocery store wardrobe". 

How was it that this particular phrase brought someone to my blog? And what exactly was this person looking for?

Was he or she looking for examples of what women wear when they are grocery shopping? Or was it someone curious about people who buy most of their clothing at grocery stores, such as Joe Fresh at Superstore in Canada or Tissaia at E.Leclerc or Tex at Carrefour in France? What exactly was the person wanting to find with the search phrase, "grocery store wardrobe"?

It did make me think and it did motivate me to write this post.

Interpretation 1: What are women wearing when they go to the grocery store? Insofar as grocery stores go, I can't imagine that this particular destination inspires women to wear a particular style of clothing. The grocery store is a destination only because of necessity and does not have specific wardrobe requirements. On the way home from work, dashing out to pick something up, or making a weekly replenishment of supplies hardly deserves a specific wardrobe. However, thinking about my past, I do remember my mother getting "dressed" to go shopping. That was the sixties and seventies and as a "housewife" her weekly shopping trip was in fact an occasion of sorts. In fact my mother did "dress" for this shopping trip, which included the grocery store in addition to other shopping. Now, what did she wear? I don't recall but I do know she never just dashed out to pick up a few things and so sweat pants, t-shirt and runners never would have been something she wore to go "shopping".

I have previously written about Sarah Turnbull's experience in her book Almost French (2004) when her husband suggested that she not go to the bakery dressed in her "gymnastic pantaloons". If the expectation for me as a consumer is to dress to show respect for the vendor, then of course, I would expect particular dress from the vendors. It does seem the way in France, but even that is changing with more casual dress for all concerned, especially in the country.

Interpretation 2: Or was the search phrase aimed at styles that could be chosen from the grocery store aisles? I have been known to pick up Joe Fresh t-shirts at Superstore in Canada and linen or cotton shorts and t-shirts at Leclerc in France but that would be about all. Perhaps there are women and men who choose to buy their entire wardrobes from the grocery store. Is it possible? I suppose it might be depending upon your lifestyle.

Interpretation 3: Or was the person looking for something akin to the site featuring the bizarre dress of shoppers at a particular American department store (Walmart). Goodness knows, I have never seen anyone wearing anything near what is posted on that particular site. Where in the world of Walmarts are the photographers getting these shots? Mind, the last time I was in a Walmart in Canada, it was because I heard that they stocked Bonne Maman jam.

I still am perplexed and certainly curious about exactly what that person was searching for.

Clothing Rules . . .

Clothing Choices: Set by the Rules

NO THANKS

It is the middle of September and I am in the South-West of France. If you couldn't pick out the tourists in July and August, you can now. There is something askew about what tourists are choosing to wear. The locals have synchronized their clothing with the seasons but the tourists are hanging on to every summer-like temperature-relative day, symbolized by their clothing.

This last Sunday, it was most obvious. A woman I met at the brocante/vides grenier was wearing a swimsuit cover-up . . . too short and too skimpy, even though she has the body that can pull it off. Even in July and August, she should only be wearing this "outfit" at the beach and at the most, for lunch at a beachside café. I don't think she realized how out-of-place she looked and if she did, of course, it is her prerogative. 

I felt as if I was wearing winter clothing in comparison. My skinny jeans and a t-shirt topped with a blazer, albeit I chose to wear sandals, seemed overdone but somehow in sync with the season and the crowd. I did end up taking my blazer off when I sat down for a coffee but for the most part, I did feel "more French" somehow. Anyone in beachwear or a "tanktop", in this particular location, was not French to be sure.

My French neighbours think I am a wimpy Canadian I am sure. They cannot understand how a woman who has seen and felt minus 40 is shivering when it is plus 24. It's the humidity I explain; Canadian winters are a dry cold. That, my friends is another post.

But what is it in my personality type that makes me want to blend in and not be designated as "tourist"? For the most part, it is the negativity with which this type of dress is regarded. One of my neighbours exemplified this by saying in a rather condescending tone, "Ah yes, but she isn't French". So you see, it is not so much a criticism but a fact, and so because she isn't French, she can be forgiven. Now I'm not French and as soon as I open my mouth, everyone knows for certain that I am not French. So why should I care? But I do.

It's all about clothing choices and of course, because I am my mother's daughter. My culture and socialization set the foundational clothing rules, which are affecting my clothing choices . . . don't wear white after Labour Day; only closed-in shoes from October to April; no tank tops, sleeveless shirts, short skirts, jeans or shorts in a church; wear beachwear on the street and you are sure to be designated as either "on holiday" or immature; don't wear more than three colours in an ensemble; don't wear joggers unless you are jogging; no black at weddings, no red at funerals . . . no this or that . . . make sure you wear . . . sigh . . .

Now, hey you, Mister can't you read? 

You got to have a shirt and tie to get a seat.

You can't even watch. No you can't eat.

You ain't supposed to be here.

Lyrics: Signs (1971)

Five Man Electrical Band (Canadian)

It's easy to say that one should live by his or her own rules; it's quite different to actually do it. I'll try my hardest to wear white linen today.

Searching for Appropriateness in Dress

Appropriate Choices

Closet Content Analysis: 
Blending Personal Style into Corporate Culture 
  
NICE             NO THANKS         NOTE-WORTHY           NEED             NEW

When I study the popularity of particular posts, the notion of appropriate dress is one of the top five categories. Employees are mandated to wear uniforms, students are sent home for wearing skirts too short or t-shirts expounding counterculture perspectives, and many decisions are made to wear or not wear something based on previous societal reactions. We recognize that there are standards, but we also recognize that they are arbitrary and we appear to want advice on appropriateness.

Very often there is a defensive response to any allegation that one's dress is inappropriate. "Who is she or he to tell me what to wear? or Nobody's going to tell me what to wear; I'll wear what I want!", are the typical knee-jerk responses. Culturally, there exists a collection of beliefs around what is appropriate or inappropriate dress in every social/cultural group. Arbitrary or not, it exists and as long as there are key decision makers (your supervisor, boss, owner of the company, mother, grandfather, teacher, principal, judge), who observe these cultural points of view, you will always be under scrutiny insofar as dress goes.Valid, fair or arbitrary, those who hold economic or political power over you are able to impose their "dress code" values on you.

What we choose to wear does not "hurt" anyone. It may be offensive or distasteful but it will not cause physical harm and I imagine, we don't want to impose physical discomfort upon anyone. There must be an underlying understanding of what will cause another discomfort since so many are looking to define appropriateness. The question is asked but if you have lived in a particular social/cultural milieu, you know the answer and perhaps are probably just looking for rationalization and confirmation. All the hits asking what is comfortable casual and is it appropriate, particularly for work in a North American context, are simply searches to rationalize what he or she already inherently believes. I attempted to define casual clothing in a previous post and so, if my definition fits the questioner, he or she will follow the "advice" given but if not, then the quest will continue until the person is satisfied with a newfound answer. Online, that will not be hard to do.

The best advice is: be observant. Determine what looks "professional" in your mind's eye and then choose dress that blends your sense of style within the corporate context. If you consider the culture of the workplace, since it establishes the criteria, all will be well.

What a strange power there is in clothing.

- Isaac Bashevis Singer 

What does clothing communicate about the wearer?

Clothes are never a frivolity; they always mean something.

- James Laver

My anthropological studies from my student days have affected the way I view clothing. The function of clothing was first to protect the body from the environment and then to differentiate the wearer from his or her neighbours. Jewellery and clothing embellishment thrived, whether with hair, thread, bone, diamonds or metal. Just about any substance, where beauty naturally occurred or was somehow shaped, came to be symbolic of one's wealth, social standing or occupation.

We still use clothing to express ourselves and to indicate our standing in the community or perhaps to communicate what we would like our standing to be. Think of those in legal battles who are told to wear suits to their trials or job applicants who are advised to dress professionally.

Recently the idea of clothing being symbolic of our professions hit the CBC radio interview roster. The Saskatchewan Union of Nurses is running a "wear white campaign" for registered nurses in the province. Owing to feedback from patients, SUN is asking their membership to wear a white top to designate their professional standing. SUN's president says that they are responding to a survey that illustrated clients wanting to know who is attending to them. In the myriad of prints, patterns and colours, patients and their families are confused. As a family member of someone who was recently terminally ill in the hospital, I am one of the "clients" who understands completely and appreciates what SUN is asking their nurses to do. 

Some in the profession are objecting using the "comfort" card for both clients and nurses. The main argument seems to be that professionals wearing colourful clothing is more approachable, less institutional and therefore clients are more comfortable than having "starched whites" attend to them. It seems the survey results differ with this approach. As to personal preference, SUN affirms that the nature of the job dictates that the comfort of the patient comes first.

And so the debate begins . . . but what about the LPNs (licensed practical nurses) and the doctors (oh yes they're the ones with the lab coats and stethoscopes). It will be interesting to see how the nurses respond.

Kid's Summer Clothes

Closet Content Analysis: Designer, Handmade & Consignment Clothing in Childrens' Closets

Nice

It seems that children's clothes in Europe do not follow trends in the same way that North American children's clothing do. In fact, little people clothes are timeless in a way that they are not in North America. The next photo is of a little guy that looked . . .  well, he looked, French. Are those Dolce & Gabana "tennis" shoes? Bien sur! This little guy's mother did not dress him with clothes from the Tati kids' bargain bin. He was definitely dressed for Cap Ferret on the South-West coast.

Photo by Brian B while in Cap Ferret, June, 2013.

Photo by JoyD, May, 2013

Ella was visiting France from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, when our neighbours, Jean-Charles & Nancy, so graciously gifted her with this very cute outfit in primary colours from Du Pareil . . . au meme. The red tunic has a blue border hem with animal motifs and yellow foot-free tights. How cute!

Her mother is eco-friendly and has no trouble shopping consignment for herself or for Ella. When she was in France she picked up a Laura Ashley dress in beautiful condition at a vides grenier (empty attic sale/boot sale/garage sale) in Eymet. 

At the same time, Melanie has no trouble spending a goodly sum on clothing of natural fabrics made by artisans. She makes it her practice to support local artists in music and crafters and artisans for other needs in her life. While in Spain and France she sought out local independent shops representing local and regional artists. Her take-back-to-Canada-cache included several handmade, natural-dyed scarves; pieces of artwork and wooden toys.

Of course, we do have to please grandma or oma or mami or baba sometimes and little boys do it well when mom finds a clip-on tie for the little guy. Michael, from Kelowna, British Columbia, Canada was decked out for his oma at the last family gathering.

No Thanks

Not having children in my life but having been around plenty, I empathize with parents who must find it difficult to keep up with growth spurts and maintain some sense of "style" for children, especially those from ages 7 to 10. I once read an article about how mothers were dressing little girls and boys in inappropriate clothing for their ages. I don't remember the author or the source of that particular reference but I have found another online post that is reminiscent of the the same sentiment. Author Celia Rivenbark writes, 

When you see a size 7 shirt that says SEXY! or a mom and her little girl strolling through the mall in matching shorts with JUICY scrawled acrosse the butt, you have to wonder what the hell is going on. 

It seems that I have stumbled upon a few more future post topics: previously worn/owned clothing, handmade pieces for the closet, appropriate children's clothing, pleasing grandmothers .  . . funny how that is . . . looking forward to the next post . . . 

Summer Office Wear - What is too casual?

The spring of 2013 can best be described as rainy but now after the summer solstice, we are experiencing 30+ weather in France. We still have to manage our work wardrobes in temperatures that can best be described as "bikini" weather. Marjorie S who re-entered the corporate world on the Canadian prairies suggested the title for this post, when she asked, "What is too casual for summer office wear?" 

Often, when writing about work wear, the word "appropriate" is used; however it seems that many different notions of "appropriate" exist. "Short" skirts may have been deemed "inappropriate" by someone, as boss, but it would be necessary to define "short" for employees who may have had other bosses. For men, a collared shirt and pants/trousers also covers a range so that jeans and a polo shirt might be "inappropriate". The category of jeans could be a post in itself about appropriateness and inappropriateness. 

But first, if you are female: a shirt and skirt/dress; or if male: a shirt and pants, pretty much summarizes summer work wear. Just don't look like you are off to the park with your kids on a Saturday afternoon or going to an outdoor patio bar for the evening.

Consider the following factors when deciding what to wear at the office in the summer:

1. Discretion in tops: Summer lightweight fabrics and skimpier tops are both questionable in the office. Absolutely no cleavage is the best personal policy. Even a tank top revealing bare arms might not be "appropriate" for some offices. Therefore, an unlined blazer or unstructured jacket is necessary. Even a linen shirt can act as a "jacket" over a tank top in the summer. I have seen unlined unstructured boxy jackets, unlined blazers - short and long, even vests that make skirts, dresses and even shorts office appropriate. Most offices are air-conditioned so it is almost necessary to include a jacket in your work wear choices. When alone in the office you can take the jacket off and be cool and comfortable enough. However, the lightweight "jacket" is good advice no matter if you are management such as Marjorie S is or if you are the receptionist. The receptionist needs to be as well dressed as administration since the receptionist is the first one to represent the entire company when clients enter the corporate doors. 

2. Discretion in hemlines. Skirts and shorts should not be too short. The bend-over and reach-up tests can determine your level of discomfort and therefore an appropriate length. If you are pulling the hemline down or if you feel even slightly self-conscious, it's probably too short. Knee-length or just above, of course, is always safe, whether skirts or shorts. Shorts, for men and women, are available in linen, cotton or lightweight wool, and can be  professional looking if worn longer and matched with a proper collared shirt. Ladies, you can take a look at a former post on knee length shorts.

3. Sandals or any open-toed shoes can be fine for the office but the pedicure is the important factor here. This advice is for men as well. The more "open" the shoe, the more perfect the pedicure - toes and heels in immaculate condition. However, never ever wear plastic or rubber "beach" flip flops to the office. If your sandals make that "slapping" sound walking down the hallway, they're not right for the office.

4. Make sure your clothing fits you well. It can be casual, but not sloppy or tight. A plain coloured (no witty sayings) well fitting t-shirt would be acceptable even though t-shirts are very casual. A beige linen jacket can be worn with whites or darks and is both male and female appropriate.

NO THANKS . . . 

More specifically, here are some other thoughts, from others in the corporate work force, on what would be too casual for office wear:

1. Spaghetti strap tops. However, you can wear a linen shirt as a "jacket" over the tank top or the spaghetti straps and it will offer you the coverage when you need it without being scorchingly hot.

2. Revealing deep scooped necklines.

3. T-shirts with logos and "sayings". (Plain t-shirts are just fine!)

4. Short shorts, mid thigh shorts, really short skirts. Knee-length or just above is the "appropriate" measure.

5. Anything too gauzy, filmy and see-through including tops, dresses and skirts.

6. Beach flip flops.

7. Unless it's game day and the home team is in the finals and the entire office staff, including the boss is wearing his or hers, sport shirts are a "no go" as well.

8. Then there's denim, which fits the "yes, but . . . " or "yes, if . . . ": a denim skirt, dress, jeans or jacket are all good, but all denim is really not appropriate everywhere or at anytime. Black or coloured denim takes you further and to more place than blue denim; while dark wash denim is preferable to anything faded. Manufacturer induced fading in jeans, faded jeans in general and anything with tears or worn spots should be left for weekend wear, if that's what you like. A dark wash denim jacket, again depending on fit and condition, might work on a casual Friday.

A Note about Casual Fridays: There are a few businesses and professions that should not have casual Fridays in my opinion and that is the banking and insurance businesses, government agencies, and the medical and legal professions. Business casual is ok but I once went to a bank where the loans officer came out in a baggy striped polo shirt that looked a couple of sizes too big on him and a pair of baggy cargo-esque shorts. I stopped doing business with that bank. I don't believe it was because of what he was wearing; however it may have been a contributing factor in my decision making whether I was fully aware of it or not.

For the ladies, here is an interesting retail site that claims to be "your destination for work chic fashion". As well, I found a blog that has all the shirt and pencil skirt alternatives (lots of great combinations) you need and I'll just let you link to it rather than doing all the work. Thanks Jessica!

For the gentlemen, Joseph A. Bank offers a category of "business casual solutions" with reminders about the importance of fit and tailoring. I got the Joseph A. Bank information from an interesting article recommending online retailers for mens' business attire.


Other posts on this blog regarding professional, work and casual clothing:

Knee-Length Shorts at Work and Play
Working Uniformly
Appropriate Clothing Choices for Work
Defining Casual Clothing
What is Comfortable Casual?